


This Ain't Pretty Woman, Bruv

by Sheepie



Series: Gucci & Chanel [2]
Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Derogatory Language, Eggsy has nicer things than you, Genderfluid!Eggsy, Harry likes to spoil, Hurt Eggsy and Merlin and Harry will come after you, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, OT3, Pretty Woman Reference, Protective!boyfriends, Shopping Spree, domestic cuteness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-28
Updated: 2015-08-28
Packaged: 2018-04-17 17:07:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4674641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sheepie/pseuds/Sheepie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eggsy goes shopping for a new dress, but instead of the day playing out like an eighties shopping montage, he ends up with a ruined Alexander McQueen blouse and a split lip. That's okay though, because Merlin and Harry are going to make it better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Ain't Pretty Woman, Bruv

**Author's Note:**

> Not betaed. Sorry for any mistakes.  
> I shouldn't be allowed to look a designer clothes websites.

“I can’t believe I ‘ave a day off,” Eggsy said as he languished on the couch, his feet propped up on the coffee table. He still hadn’t changed out of his pajama bottoms, which rode low on his hips. “Are y’ sure y’ and Harry have to go into the office?”

He rolled his head back on the couch, chin tipped up so he looked at Merlin upside down. Merlin paused in getting ready to leave to at him. “Not all of us have the luxury of buggering off for the day, pet. Some of us have meetings to attend.” Merlin leaned out the entrance way and called up the stairs, “Harry, hurry up! I won’t be late because of you!”

Eggsy chuckled and sunk lower on the couch. JB barked and Eggsy patted his lap, signaling for the dog to jump up. JB’s collar jangled as he paced back and forth, snuffling and snorting, and then he jumped onto the couch and crawled onto Eggsy’s lap.

Harry came down stairs, tie still undone and his hair in disarray. He smoothed his hands over his hair, organizing the soft strands so they were out of his face, and said tersely, “Oh bugger off you fusspot. When have I ever made you late?”

Merlin and Eggsy fixed Harry with a pointed look— _really Harry?_ —and Harry rolled his eyes. “You’re both incorrigible.”

Merlin set his laptop bag down and walked over to Harry, properly tying his blue pinstriped tie in a Windsor knot. “What will you be doing with your free time, lad?”

Eggsy watched Merlin straighten Harry’s shirt and smooth down his collar, all the while smiling fondly to himself. He still couldn’t believe that these two men loved and accepted him, _all_ of him. Eggsy never believed in love, it was a fantasy the media made you believe in to sell shit. It wasn’t real. But here he was, sitting on the couch in _their_ flat, bidding his boyfriends a good day at work.

“Thought I’d head over to Bond Street. Rox mentioned a new store that opened up and I figured it be the perfect place to go and pick up something for the party this weekend,” Eggsy said, scratching JB behind the ear. “Probably take this guy for a nice long walk to the park, maybe swing by mum’s.”

Harry and Merlin crossed the room, dropping individual kisses on his cheeks. He inhaled deeply—it amazed him how their colognes complimented one another, as if they had planned it.

“That sounds wonderful, darling,” Harry said. “When Merlin and I get back you can give us a show.”

“Well if that doesn’t motivate you to get through the day, I don’t know what will,” Merlin chuckled. “Now come on, we’re going to be late and I don’t feel like listening to Washington whining about how you kept her waiting. The woman is _insufferable_.”

Eggsy grinned and waved goodbye, not bothering to get up from his comfortable position on the couch. JB had fallen asleep on his lap and he figured he could hold off on his shopping for a little while. Eggsy dozed on and off for another hour, finally woken by JB launching off his stomach. Eggsy grunted and knuckled the sleep from his eyes.

“Oi, y’ little shit. Was that called for?” Eggsy snapped without any true irritation. JB blinked up at him with his large bug eyes, wheezing in response. “Right, well I guess I should get goin’.”

Eggsy let JB out back in the garden to do his business, then went up and showered. The hot water worked out some of the knots in his back, which had formed while he slept on the couch. There were lovely Merlin’s fingers-sized bruises on his hips from the previous night. A second pair of, these slightly thinner, shaped like Harry’s fingers, decorated his arms. Both men knew how to make him forget his name—make him forget everything, even how to breathe, really.

He bit his bottom lip, knowing he was grinning like a fool—but could you blame him? He had two of the fittest blokes in London. In the world, if you wanted Eggsy’s honest opinion. When he stopped to think about it, he got a warm sensation in his chest, as if a star was being born, lighting him up from the inside.

Eggsy wrapped a towel around his waist and wiped the condensation from the mirror. He opened a drawer in the vanity and sorted through the bit of makeup he owned. He didn’t always wear it, it all depend on his mood and how he felt, just like when he decided that today would be a suit day (or, to Merlin and Harry’s exasperation, a trackies day) or a dress day.

There were mornings he woke up and thought _yes, today I’ll wear one of my bespoke suits_ and then there were mornings he woke and the idea of putting on a suit felt wrong, like he was lying to himself. He didn’t consider it being male or female, because he couldn’t put into words what he felt like, because it changed, shifting like a current. All he knew was what felt right and when it felt right. He was both sides of the coin, incomplete without the other, and he loved both parts of himself. And now that he didn’t have to hide part of himself away, he’d never been happier.

He was still figuring things out himself—what pronouns he preferred and what he liked in the bedroom—and there were some moments he was afraid it be too much for Merlin and Harry, but both men continued to support him, never once pressuring Eggsy into a decision he wasn’t ready for. For now, Eggsy liked to be a _he_ in the bedroom. He liked when Harry called him darling boy. But when Eggsy wore girl’s clothes, when he didn’t feel like a _boy_ , Harry and Merlin would call him ‘darling girl’ or ‘lass’.

Eggsy wasn’t a huge fan of mascara. It hurt his eyes, but he liked the way eyeliner made the blue—sapphire, Harry had told him one night—of his irises pop. He warmed the apples of his cheeks with a touch of blush and painted his lips a honey nude shade, which would go lovely with anything, and then slipped into the bedroom.

JB lay on the end of the bed on top of the patchwork quilt Harry’s grandmother had given him. The pug didn’t stir when Eggsy entered. After Eggsy came out to Harry and Merlin that he was genderfluid, he learned that Harry _loved_ to buy him gifts. Small gift boxes and bags appeared in Eggsy’s locker or on the bed. It wasn’t that Harry bought him dresses or jewelry that made it all the more special, but that it wasn’t _always_ a new necklace or the latest Alexander McQueen jumper. Harry also bought Eggsy cuff links and neckties. He accepted all of Eggsy, and the first time Eggsy had found the small tokens of love, he’d nearly lost it.

Merlin wasn’t much better. As soon as Eggsy came out, Merlin had taken to creating him an entire line of Kingsman-worthy clothing, shoes, and accessories. Eggsy enjoyed watching the magician work and often spent evenings when Harry was away sitting on the corner of Merlin’s desk and watching him draft the latest pair heels Eggsy and Roxy.

Eggsy had learned that Merlin _really_ liked red heels—more specifically, he liked when he could fuck Eggsy while he wore nothing but red heels. Something feral and possessive came out in Merlin, and he became rough and hard, and Eggsy absolutely loved it because when they were finished, Eggsy could still feel the phantom thrusts of Merlin working inside him for days after.

“Okay, I’m off JB. Y’ be good, kay?” Eggsy said when he finished changing. He had selected a pair of high-waist shorts with a silk draped sleeve top from the latest McQueen line. He tucked in the black top into the shorts, creating a cinched waist illusion, which he accentuated with a slimming thin red belt and a pair of wedges.

JB snored in response. Eggsy chuckled and left, deciding to take a cab instead of driving and fighting traffic.

Bond Street always tended to be busy, mostly because tourists flocked to the affluent shops, eager to see the luxurious designers and fine jewelry. The first time Eggsy had shopped on Bond Street, he’d nearly died at seeing the prices. Who paid six hundred pounds for a damn tee shirt?

“It’s fashion,” Roxy had explained, as if those two words made it all better.

The weather held out, the graying clouds creeping far in the distance, moving around the city. Eggsy hoped they’d miss the rain, because he was quite tired of the dreary weather they’d been having. It was warm, with only a slight breeze that ghosted along his bare legs as he walked down Bond Street.

He stopped paying attention to the looks he received. Eggsy knew not everyone would accept him. He couldn’t expect to change the world, though he did think that it was fucking ridiculous that it was 2015 and people still couldn’t past the gender labels.

 _Maybe I should find sumfin for mum_ , Eggsy considered as he passed Halcyon Days. He went inside perused the expensive wares, studying cuff links and enamels with a critical eye. He didn’t see anything for his mum, but he did find cuff links with pug faces on them. He bought three sets. The cashier laughed when she saw how many he was getting.

“Pug fan?” She asked.

“Got one at home. Lazy thing.” Eggsy said, accepting the small bag with a gracious smile and a flirtatious wink.

He mostly window shopped, peeking into Cartier and Alkirs, lusting after the latest lingerie line released by Agent Provocateur. He considered going in and buying the strappy set, which looked like it belonged in a BDSM video. Harry and Merlin would go mental if they saw Eggsy come out of the bathroom dressed in the knickers and bra, stockings held up with suspenders.

 _Focus, Eggsy. Y’ aren’t ‘ere to get knickers._ No, he needed to find something appropriate to wear to Percival’s. Eggsy checked the text Roxy sent him for the address of the new shop, and then checked the painted numbers in the windows of the shops. He came to a stop beneath a green awning, looking into a large display window with beautifully dressed mannequins. Scrawled on the window in curling, extravagant cursive was the name: LUXEBELLE.

Eggsy entered the shop. A bell chimed overhead to herald his arrival. The two shop girls looked up from where they were arranging a display of scarves, fixing Eggsy with displeased stares. The brunette forced a pinched smile which looked more like a grimace, and glibly greeted, “Welcome, may I help you?”

Eggsy looked at the mannequins, then moved around a floor display to the racks that lined the wall. “Just browsin’,” Eggsy answered, barely sparing the women a look. “My friend told me about yer place, thought I’d give it a look.”

He started to shift through the clothes. He held up a marsala peplum shirt and studied the fabric, rubbing it between his thumb and index finger. “This is really nice,” Eggsy commented. He checked the size. “Do you have the next size up?”

“No, that’s all we have,” The brunette answered curtly. She finished setting a scarf down and walked over to him, her heels clicking on the marble floor. She plucked the shirt out of Eggsy’s hands and placed it back on the rack.

“Excuse me,” Eggsy snapped. Was this woman for real? Did she really just take that out of his hand? “Wot’s your problem? That was rude as ‘ell.”

He frowned, jaw clenched as he tried to stamp down his irritation. He nodded to a gorgeous black dress hanging from an unrealistically thin mannequin and asked, “How much is that?”

He didn’t expect to get a price.

“Too expensive, I’m afraid,” The woman snipped. “I don’t think there’s anything appropriate here for you.”

Eggsy raised one brow pointedly, staring at her for a long while, trying to decide if she was being serious. Did this woman step right out of _Pretty Woman_? Eggsy checked for a nametag, but she didn’t have one pinned to her blouse, so he asked instead, “Wot’s yer name?”

“ _Please_ leave.” She sniffed primly.

The morning’s breakfast soured in his stomach. He glanced over to the other shop girl, who purposefully avoided his gaze. He nodded stiffly. “Right.” He turned sharply on his heels and strode out of the shop, vibrating with anger.

 _The fucking nerve of some people._ He adjusted the strap of his purse, one fist clenched around the handle of the Halcyon Days bag, his nails biting into his palms. He swallowed back the hurt, trying to convince himself that the disgust and rejection in their eyes, the way the blond shop girl hadn’t even _looked_ at him, didn’t sting.

Eggsy grumbled under his breath, striding down the sidewalk. _Forget it. I’ll go somewhere else._ There were plenty of stores. He didn’t need to go to that particular one.

A pedestrian slammed into Eggsy’s shoulder and a sudden wet chill ran down his chest. Eggsy jumped back, gasping at the shock of ice and soda spilling down his shirt. “Fuck!”

“Move it, queer!” The man tossed the paper cup to the ground and continued walking, not even sparing Eggsy a look.

Eggsy plucked the soiled shirt and tugged it away from his chest, wincing at the sticky feeling of soda drying. “Y’ going to say that to my face, arsehole?” Eggsy yelled, earning a few concerned looks from the other pedestrians trying to maneuver around him.

The man froze and turned to look at Eggsy, his face red. He gathered himself up, trying to use his height and bulk to intimidate Eggsy. Eggsy stared him down.

“Yeah, I called you a queer. What are you going to do about it?” The man cocked his head to the side, chin tipped up so he looked down his nose at Eggsy, a confident smirk stretched across his thin lips.

 “Kick yer arse, that’s what. Why don’t y’ fuckin’ whisper that into me ear,” Eggsy challenged. Several onlookers tried to pretend that they weren’t watching, but a crowd slowly circled around them, waiting to see Eggsy taken down and put in his place.

The man stormed over to Eggsy, a good two inches taller than him, his arms like massive ham hocks. Eggsy waited for him to get close enough, waited for the man to reach for him—because of course he’d try to take a cheap shot and catch Eggsy by surprise—before Eggsy snapped into action. He took the man down in three blows. Eggsy swept the guy’s feet out from under him and slammed his face into the concrete, pinning him there with his knee digging in his spine. Eggsy twisted the guy’s arm behind his back.

“I’m sorry, wot was that?” Eggsy asked. The guy bucked, trying to dislodge Eggsy, but Eggsy just tightened his hold on the arm, applying enough pressure to scare the man into think he’d break it. “Stay fucking down, y’ arsewipe.”

He shoved off the guy with more force than necessary. He dusted himself off, grumbling, “’Arry bought me this fuckin’ shirt y’ dick.”

The man picked himself up and spun around, blood oozing from his nose. He snarled at Eggsy, eyes darkened with fury. He took a swipe at Eggsy, which he dodged gracefully, ducking and weaving as the man made pathetic untrained jabs at him. The guy moved wildly and without control, reminding Eggsy of a crazed bull.

Eggsy bumped into the crowd, which rippled with a mixture of fear and excitement. He was vaguely aware of someone calling for help, but at the moment his attention was focused on not letting the meat head land a punch. The guy clipped Eggsy’s jaw when Eggsy turned to move away from the onlookers and stars burst in front of his eyes. _Shit that hurt._

Eggsy tongued the cut on his lip. “Y’ wanker.”

The guy wiped his bleeding nose with his fist. “There’s more where that came from.”

A police officer blew a whistle and the crowd immediately dispersed. Eggsy froze, panting heavily, his shirt rumpled and stained, and his lip bleeding. He spat a glob of blood from his mouth and looked at the approaching officer, debating on whether or not he could make a break for it. _Might make things worse._

Harry and Merlin weren’t going to be happy with him.

“What’s going on here?” The officer roared. His silver name badge said ‘Officer Andrews’.

“He attacked me,” The man said, “Everyone saw it.”

Eggsy balked. “Are y’ fucking kidding me? Y’ threw yer bloody drink on me y’ fucking homophobe!”

The officer looked between them, more tired and bored than really concerned about the brewing storm. He sighed, swiping a hand down his wrinkled face, and said, “Look, mates, my shift ends in about ten minutes. Can’t you two just leave it be? If you walk away now, I won’t bring you in. No point in ruining the rest of these fine peoples’ day, hmm?”

The man with the bleeding nose glowered in Eggsy’s direction but grunted in agreement and walked off. Officer Andrew watched him go before picking up the Halcyon Days bag and purse Eggsy had dropped at some point.

“Maybe next time you wear some normal clothes when you go out, yeah? Avoid this kind of mess,” Officer Andrews suggested, and while he kept his tone good-naturedly, it didn’t soften the blow.

Shame flared inside Eggsy’s chest. He accepted his purse and bag, not meeting the officer’s eyes, and mumbled, “Yeah… yeah, yer right.”

“You okay to go home? Why don’t I get you a cab.”

It wasn’t a question.

Officer Andrews hailed a cab and Eggsy slipped inside. He fished out a kerchief from his purse and dabbed his bleeding lip with a wince. Eggsy told the driver where to go, listlessly staring out the window.

 

* * * *

Harry and Merlin arrived home a little after six. It had been a long day—Harry had several important meetings, including one with the Prime Minister and the head of M16, and another with the head of Mossad. There had been an explosion at one of the labs that Merlin had to deal with, and Bors nearly got himself killed on a mission because he failed to listen to his handler, so Merlin had to swoop in and salvage the job. Bors had succeeded and was on his way home that very moment, but Merlin was pretty sure that if he had any hair left to lose, it would have all fallen out today.

Needless to say, both men were looking for to coming home, pouring a couple scotches, and enjoying a fashion show featuring Eggsy as the headline. Afterwards they’d take the boy to bed and ravish him an inch from his life.

So when they came home and found all the lights out and the house still, both exchanged concerned looks.

“Eggsy?” Harry called. No one answered.

“Maybe he’s napping,” Merlin suggested. “Lad could have tired himself out.”

They both smiled at the idea of Eggsy tuckered from shopping so much, and crept upstairs to their bedroom. Harry cautiously pushed the door open and peeked inside, expecting to see Eggsy fast asleep in their bed.

He was in the bed, but he wasn’t asleep. He wore a pair of track pants and white t-shirt, his legs drawn close to his chest and J.B. curled in his arms. There was a smear of black around his eyes, as if Eggsy had tried to wash off eyeliner, but gave up halfway. His bloodshot eyes snapped open and he looked at Harry. A bruise darkened his jaw and there was a slit on the side of his bottom lip.

Merlin nudged Harry out of the way to enter and asked, “Is he in there?” Merlin froze next to Harry, staring at Eggsy. “Shit, lad. What happened?”

Eggsy shook his head and hid his face in J.B.’s back. Harry rushed to Eggsy’s side. Merlin picked up a silk blouse, which had been thrown carelessly on the floor, a dark stain down the front.

“Who did this Eggsy?” Merlin asked.

“Look at me darling,” Harry coaxed, stroking Eggsy’s cheek. “Let me see your face.”

Eggsy lifted his head, turning into Harry’s hand. Merlin dropped the shirt and moved to sit on the other side of Eggsy.

“What happened, pet?” Merlin asked, helping Eggsy sit up. J.B. gave a disgruntled snort and crawled into Eggsy’s lap once he sat upright.

“They were so mean,” Eggsy croaked, voice raw and hoarse, as if he’d spent the last two hours bawling his eyes out. Tear tracks stained his cheeks, cutting paths through the makeup remaining on his face.

Harry brushed wisps of blond hair from Eggsy’s face and murmured, “Who was mean?”

“The shop. They kicked me out,” Eggsy murmured, not meeting their eyes.

Harry’s heart squeezed painfully. Christ, Eggsy looked so anguished—no, not anguished. He looked ashamed. The thought left an ashy taste in Harry’s mouth. Harry clenched his teeth, looking at Merlin, who had a similar stricken expression. He nodded slightly, barely a jerk of his chin— _they would fix this._

No one hurt Eggsy. No one made him feel ashamed. Whoever did this, whoever made him believe he was anything but beautiful, they would pay.

“Then… then this _arsehole_ threw his drink on me.” Eggsy drew in a hiccupping breath. “And we got in a fight—I’m sorry ‘Arry, I know it wasn’t the right thing, but he ruined the shirt y’ got me, and then he called me a queer, and I was… I’m sorry.”

Eggsy hugged J.B. closer. Harry dotted his cheek with kisses, cooing softly, “Don’t worry about it, my darling boy. You did nothing wrong.”

“Is that how you got the split lip?” Merlin asked, gingerly dusting his fingertips along the cut. Eggsy winced and nodded. “Caught me by surprise.”

Merlin leaned in and kissed the corner of his mouth, near the cut. Eggsy sighed and leaned against Merlin, letting him draw him close to his chest. “Is that it?” Merlin asked.

“Coppers showed up. Told me I shouldn’t come out dressed like that, that it’s better for everyone… guess he’s right.” Eggsy’s voice cracked at the end and he turned his face into Merlin’s chest. “I just wanted to find sumfin pretty for y’ two. Didn’t mean no harm.”

“Of course you didn’t,” Harry said, never ceasing his petting. He lifted Eggsy’s hand and dotted his knuckles with delicate kisses. “Love, you did nothing wrong. Absolutely nothing.”

“Harry’s right, pet.” Merlin kissed the top of Eggsy’s head, holding his mouth there as he mumbled, “You’re beautiful the way you are, and if they can’t see that, then they’re fools.”

Eggsy looked between Merlin and Harry. How did he get so lucky? He tugged Harry closer, nearly squishing J.B. beneath the other man, and whispered, “I love you both.”

“And we love you,” Harry whispered into his ear.

They remained like that for a good while, wrapped in one another’s arms, J.B. snuggled on top of the human sandwich, snoring blissfully. Eggsy dozed on and off, Merlin’s and Harry’s bodies providing soothing heat, which eased the tension in Eggsy’s sore muscles. Eventually Merlin woke Eggsy and instructed him to shower. Harry went downstairs to prepare dinner.

“Tomorrow Harry and I will take the morning off,” Merlin said as Eggsy climbed out of the bed.

“For wot?” Eggsy asked, tugging his shirt off.

Merlin grabbed him around the waist and pulled Eggsy between his knees. He kissed Eggsy in the center of his chest, hands splayed over his ribs. “So we can take you shopping. And you’ll wear what you want to wear—whether it’s a suit or girl’s clothes or those dreadful track suits.”

Eggsy smiled and hugged Merlin, cradling his chest against his body. “Thank you,” Eggsy sighed so softly Merlin nearly missed it.

While Eggsy showered, Merlin went downstairs to help Harry. Harry handed him some peppers and a knife, pointing to a cutting board already set out for him.

“I’m going to review the CCTV, see who this guy was that landed a hit on Eggsy. Get that officer’s name, too,” Merlin stated. Harry didn’t look at him, but Merlin saw him nod.

“I’ll get the name of the shop from Lancelot,” Harry said. Neither expanded on their plans, but a silent agreement passed between them—the people that had hurt Eggsy, who had made him feel such gut-wrenching shame, would live to regret their actions.

* * * *

“Are y’ sure?” Eggsy asked, holding a pair of Louis Vuitton heels by their straps. “People are going to stare.”

“I’m sure, if this is what you want,” Harry reassured. He stood in the doorway, smiling across the room at Eggsy, who eyed the outfit laid out on the bed. “I only want you to be happy, darling, so wear what _you_ want to wear today. Don’t worry about everyone else—Merlin and I will deal with them.”

Eggsy nodded, setting the heels down on the comforter, and said, “Okay. I’ll be down in a minute, ‘cha?”

Harry left, leaving Eggsy to get ready for their outing. He headed downstairs, where Merlin was waiting with a cup of tea. Harry kissed him gratefully, accepting the steaming cup. “I fear this whole ordeal has set us back again. Did you find out who those Neanderthals were?”

“I did and they’ve been taken care of,” Merlin answered ambiguously. “Roxy told you about the shop?”

“Oh yes. I must say, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Lancelot so livid before. If I hadn’t talked her down, I’m sure you’d have your hands full today covering up an arson case,” Harry chuckled.

He took a sip of tea, walking into the living room to lounge on the couch as he waited for Eggsy. Merlin set his tea down on the coffee table and joined him on the couch, mouth twisted into a bemused smile. “Only a fool would dream of crossing Ms. Morton.”

Merlin fiddled with the pug cuff links, chuckling, “He does have interesting taste.”

Harry looked down at his matching set. Eggsy had bestowed them with his gift after dinner, anxiously watching their faces as they had unwrapped the tissue paper. Harry couldn’t say he was surprised to see the lopsided grin of a pug staring up at him from the polished enamel surface of the cuff links.

“They’re perfect,” Harry had said, though he couldn’t think of a single time these cuff links would be appropriate.

“Aye, we love them,” Merlin said, and Harry had been able to hear the grin in Merlin’s voice, knowing full well Merlin always had a jumper on, so he didn’t have to worry about cuff links.

When Eggsy descended the stairs, both men turned to look, struck speechless by the sight of Eggsy. He wore a black A-line dress with a square collar and a thin lacquered belt. It was simple, yet elegant.

How could anyone call someone so radiant an abomination?

Eggsy gave a small spin when he reached the bottom of the stairs, the hem of his skirt rising slightly, and asked, “Do I look all right?”

“You’re absolutely beautiful, darling girl,” Harry said, the first to pick his jaw off the ground. He reached over and lightly pressed a finger to Merlin’s jaw, closing his mouth. “Are you ready to go?”

Eggsy bit back a smile and nodded. They decided to take a cab to Bond Street. Eggsy shifted between Merlin and Harry, picking at him hem. Harry swatted his hand away.

“Everything will be fine,” Merlin reassured and gathered Eggsy’s hands in his own, preventing Eggsy from picking at a seam.

Eggsy looked doubtful, but he didn’t say anything. Merlin and Harry steered Eggsy clear of Luxebelle, ushering him into another boutique next door to Burberry.

“No, Eggsy, you _cannot_ get anymore Burberry. I refuse to buy you another one of those ridiculous hats,” Harry stated briskly when Eggsy started to veer towards the designer shop.

A shop girl greeted them as soon as they entered. “Hello! Welcome to _Christian_. My name is Isla, how may I help you?” Isla beamed infectiously, coming around the counter and stopping in front of them. Her curly brown hair framed her welcoming face. She held herself with quiet poise, as if the idea of serving and helping were the most natural things in the world.

“We have an appointment, under Harry Hart,” Harry answered. He wrapped one arm around Eggsy’s waist, holding him close.

Isla walked back to the counter and plucked a book up from behind the register. She skimmed down the appointment book, then nodded and replied cheerily, “Ah yes, Mr. Hart at ten o’clock. We’re so glad to have you here today, sir.”

Isla set the book back down and clasped her hands together, looking straight at Eggsy. Eggsy held his breath, bracing for the blatant refusal to serve them. Harry squeezed Eggsy’s hip.

“We’re shopping for you today, correct?” Isla asked.

“Y-yeah. I’m Eggsy,” he said, almost as if he were unsure of his own name.

“Well it’s a pleasure to meet you Eggsy.” Isla’s smile never wavered. “Why don’t you come with me and we’ll figure out what you’re looking for today, and these two lovely gentlemen can have a seat.” She winked at Merlin and Harry. “I hope you men are in for a show.”

Eggsy looked back at Harry and Merlin, and both men nodded, shooing him off with a wave of their hand. Eggsy followed Isla to the back.

Merlin chuckled, watching their confused boy go. “I don’t think he knows what to do with himself.”

“Well it’s probably the first time he’s been so warmly welcomed. Roxy said they have issues even at some of the other stores,” Harry said.

A man in a well-tailored charcoal suit walked out of the back, greeting, “Ah, you must be Mr. Hart. I’m Victor. Isla asked me to show you gentlemen to your seats. May I get you a drink while you wait? We have coffee, tea, and water.”

“Tea, if you would be so kind,” Harry answered, Merlin seconding.

Victor showed them to their seat, a stylish low-back couch that, while not the most comfortable thing, was certainly better than standing. A few moments later he returned with two cups of tea in elegant bone china. Harry accepted his cup with a gracious smile and settled back in his seat, waiting for Eggsy to begin modeling.

It didn’t take long. Isla stepped out of the changing room and said, “He’s found a few things. We’ll have him try on some outfits, get an idea of what he likes, and go from there. He has _wonderful_ taste, though I’m not surprised.”

Eggsy came out in the first outfit, unsure of himself, eyeing everyone in the room as if they were a potential threat, and it was hard for Harry not to spirit the boy back into the changing room so he could thoroughly snog him. He suspected Merlin shared a similar thought, since he studied Eggsy with a ravenous eye.

Eggsy’s legs really should be a crime. No, better yet, it should be a crime to cover them up, Harry decided.

“Oh, we’re keeping that one, lass,” Merlin said, nodding to Isla to bag the skirt and blouse.

Eggsy flushed, a tentative smile tugging at his lips. It took a few more wardrobe changes before Eggsy warmed up and started to enjoy himself. When he came out of the changing room again, he found more clothes to try, and Isla responded with equal enthusiasm, sending Victor and the second shop girl, Seba, to pull clothes from the racks.

Merlin and Harry went through three cups of teas as they watched Eggsy model. Merlin leaned over when Eggsy vanished into the changing room, commenting, “If Eggsy ever gave up Kingsman, he could make a mint modeling.”

Harry hummed in agreement.

Finally, when it seemed that they combed through all of the clothes in Christen, Eggsy came back out in his black A-line dress, cheeks flushed with exhilaration, his vibrant eyes sparkling. He swooped down, without thought or care, and kissed both Merlin and Harry square on the mouth. Both men responded in kind, holding Eggsy in place to savor the press of lips, before they released him.

Isla laughed happily and said, “Let me ring these up for you.”

Eggsy turned to see what they were purchasing and balked at the pile of clothes. “Oh, ‘Arry, y’ don’t have to get so many—I didn’t realize, I only needed one dress.”

“Hush now, my darling girl, we’re getting each one. They all looked lovely,” Harry said as he stood. “Let an old man spoil you, hm?”

Merlin wrapped his arm around Eggsy’s waist. “Listen to him, lass. You know how he is when he decides something.”

Eggsy leaned into Merlin’s embrace, not saying anything further—he was far too giddy to argue. Harry arranged for the bags to be delivered to their flat before they left.

“Was there anywhere else you wanted to go?” Merlin asked.

“No, this was perfect—thank you, really.” His cheeks hurt from how long he’d been smiling, but he couldn’t stop.

“Anything for you, pet.” Merlin dropped a kiss to the top of his head.

“Why don’t we get some lunch,” Harry suggested, and Merlin and Eggsy hummed in agreement.

They started down the street, when Eggsy suddenly came to a halt. “Hold on a minute, there is somewhere else I want to go real quick.”

“Anywhere,” Harry answered.

Eggsy turned and headed down the street in the opposite direction. Merlin and Harry exchanged a look, neither saying what they were thinking—it was obvious where Eggsy was heading. He went straight to the Luxebelle boutique, no doubt planning on giving the women a piece of his mind, but when he stopped in front of the shop, he was taken by surprise.

The lights were out and the door locked up tight. A sign was posted in the window reading: _CLOSED. A NEW SHOP COMING SOON._

“Wot the ‘ell? Wot happened ‘ere?” Eggsy looked back at Merlin and Harry, who both schooled their faces into disinterested neutral expressions. Eggsy raised a brow pointedly. “Did y’ two have sumfin to do with this?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Harry said, holding an arm out. “Now come along, I’m starving.”

Eggsy chuckled and shook his head, “Sure y’ don’t.” He took Harry’s arm, nonetheless, and let the two men treat him to lunch.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so glad you all love genderfluid!eggsy as much as me. I have a few plot ideas in mind, but let me know of any ideas/prompts you have! I'm always up for inspiration!
> 
> Also, let me know your thoughts on pronouns for Eggsy. While Harry and Merlin address Eggsy as "darling girl" and "lass", when discussing Eggsy to each other, they refer to Eggsy as a "he", even when he's feeling like a girl. I mostly did this to keep any confusion out of the way, but I would love to know if them referring to Eggsy as a "she" during these times would be okay for you (wouldn't confuse you into thinking they were discussing a different character).


End file.
